Second chances in life come for a variety of reasons and are caused by a multitude of reasons. Just to give a few examples: an abusive relationship, losing your job, your house, divorce. Some reasons second chances occur: beating the odds in a car crash, surviving cancer, having the baby you were told you couldn’t have, and beating an addiction, whether its drugs, smoking or alcohol.

A second chance at life doesn’t have the same ingredients for all. We are all different. What works for me will not work for another and vice versa. But, what we are talking about here is grasping that second chance and how we do it.

The first thing you have to do is forgive. Forgive yourself. Without forgiveness you will not be receptive to the future. Forgiveness is the hardest and most important ingredient in achieving second chances. A second chance at life is not a guarantee. It is a choice - your choice.

Thought, word and deed are key ingredients. What you think, you are. Think it, say it, write it down and make it happen. No one can do it for you. Only you can. It’s your life. Whatever your situation is it didn’t happen overnight. It took control of your life over a period of time. Getting back will also take time. Set small goals for yourself. Write them down, use senses of affirmation and put them where you will see them every day. They don’t have to be in order to achieve a better life; they just have to be achieved. As you achieve them, place a gold star there and check it off. Pat yourself on the back, you deserve it.

Kindness is a very important ingredient. Be kind to yourself; berating yourself and beating yourself up over the past does nothing to help you. It only puts up more obstacles causing your attitude to turn negative, and you take a few steps backwards. Allow yourself a minimum amount of failure.

Look at your past mistakes as stepping stones, take the mistake and turn it into a lesson. Do not judge yourself. What will stop your goal is fear. Eliminate it from your life. That’s not easy; we are all afraid of something. Don’t let the fear of achieving that second chance ruin your choices.

Negativity is another key element. Why? Because the people from your former life style will try anything to keep you down. Why? Because they need you at the bottom with them. Misery loves company. Stand up for yourself. Negative thought produces negative results. If you think a negative thought, give it back. Change it to a positive thought.

The strength within you comes from the depth of your soul that tells you, you’re worth it. You have to stop and listen to it. It will start as a whisper, hardly audible, and when you stop for just a second it gets louder. Finally, it is so loud it becomes your first thought and you can’t turn away from it, because you hear it. You have to believe that you are. You have to believe in yourself. Say to yourself: I am worth it; I can do this, because at the end of the day when the lights go out there is only you and God. And God won’t let you down.

I do feel that another key ingredient for everyone is a good support system. We are not islands. Without the help of your loved ones, your second chance could strangle you. If you are alone, there are many programs that are available. There is also your church, your doctor or your nearest hospital.

But the most important ingredient is you; how you perceive yourself to be and just how badly you want your second chance. Remember: Thought, Word, and Deed. Make it happen.

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This article contributed by Lorraine Hummel-Brown - a writer at Helium.com