There is no formula or secret ingredient that will spiritually skyrocket you to the gates of heaven. A dash of love, a sprinkling of hope, and poof you’ve been given a second chance. No such luck. Second chances are made from your past, your tragedies, your tears, your lost hopes and dreams. All of these have been a factor and planned from the beginning to help mold us into the people we will become. How else are we supposed to learn our weaknesses and not repeat the same mistakes in the future?

So I say to you, embrace your past. Set out your good china for your hardships and become intimate with your difficult times. These are your most important ingredients in rebuilding yourself and moving onto the second chapter of your life.

Most people have been taught that in times of deep anguish or painful memories, you should forget and move on. This is not the case. Those are the times that you must evaluate what happened and don’t dwell on it. This will only stall your future transition.

Evaluate that moment in time and acknowledge the sequence of events that followed. Furthermore, I say to you, learn from it. Take with you a valuable lesson that shapes your future. We all have weaknesses and those weaknesses are highlighted in our past. At that moment in time we do not see why it is happening. We question life, God, and ourselves. We just don’t seem to have the answers. But, if you just pace yourself, everything falls into place and your questions will eventually be answered.

We as a human species lack patience. How many of us drum our fingers in frustration while waiting in traffic, or skip to one foot and the other while waiting at the checkout line? Better yet, while watching our favorite sitcom, what do we do when it goes to commercial? Do we just sit there and patiently wait for the show to come back on? No, we start channel surfing the moment the first commercial hits the screen, continuously checking the station the program is on to see if it’s back on. Now, do you get it? So how can you expect the best times to come when we ourselves keep delaying it by repeating our actions?

Learn from your past mistakes. We are all being set up for a second chance at life. Our past situations have enlightened us and educated us for any future endeavors. If you’ve led a pauper’s life, weep no more, long no more, for your future awaits you. For the pauper shall strive to never be without, hence your self-made millionaires. If you were a victim of abuse, hurt no more, for you are the strong amongst us, our advocates, the therapists and social workers who help us cope. If you had a loved one who died tragically, grieve no more for you are the comforting nurse and educator. Your loved one’s memory never dies. If you were an addict, crave no more, for you shall lead our youth, minister to congregations and lead our war against drugs.

Nothing is what it seems. Some of the most powerful and most influential people in the world have led tragic and tumultuous pasts. They have risen above their situations and used their past circumstances to achieve their goals. You too can do the same. I say to you, the next time disaster strikes, take a step back and view it for all its glory. Realize that this will bring you closer to shedding your old skin and replacing it with a new one.

Most people waste time searching for ways to gain another chance at life, when in reality your second chance is looking you right in the face every time you look into the mirror. You alone carry the secret ingredients to a second chance in life.

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This article contributed by Christine Castro - a writer at Helium.com