I recently read a news article about a man, who lost his wife and two children in a freak accident. They were on a bridge that was backed up with traffic because of torrential rains. After sitting for over an hour, the bridge began to flood.

His car, and many others, washed over, and in the blink of an eye, he was the sole survivor of his family. His wife and two daughters were found days later, their bodies washed up by flood waters much farther down the river. His daughters were still buckled into the car. In this same article, this father and husband pronounced how blessed and happy he was.

There are ingredients to happiness and second chances, and sometimes even third or fourth chances. This man had found them.

The key ingredient to a second chance is recognizing that you are getting one. We have all been down to Heartbreak Hotel. You have the choice to check in and stay with the House of Blues or determine that you are more interested in the check out process. Heartbreak and loss is painful and should be felt and recognized. However, once there, you must make a CHOICE to stay or move forward. The conscious choice to move forward will propel you right into your second chance.

Next, you must seek out what makes you feel joy. Not just happiness, but real joy! Happiness is determined by exterior circumstance. Joy can be found in a lonely room with yourself. Children have this gift. As adults, we must reclaim this. I find joy in writing. I don’t need this keyboard to find that joy. Sometimes, the art of writing is simply in my head — the thoughts that could go on paper. Whether they do or not, doesn’t lessen my joy.

Also, when I was reading this story, I read between the lines something that this father and husband did not say — that self-pity and not being able to forgive are choices as well. Through the initial shock of being alone, this man could have sought out anyone to blame: the flood, the cars blocking his family’s exit, the bridge that he was trapped on, God, and, yes, even himself. Learning and choosing to understand that the circumstances were no one’s fault was a vast and seemingly insurmountable task. However, with time and honest reflection, he chose not to be a victim because it was not what his wife and daughters would have wanted for him. It was, in fact, not really what he wanted for himself.

Finally, the shocking realization is that we are not alone. No matter what you’ve been through, someone else was there first. Someone has already checked into your room at the Heartbreak Hotel. Seek them out. One of the most shocking things that this father of two said was that he had sought out support groups of parents and spouses who had lost their loved ones. He was amazed how many fathers and husbands he found. They drew comfort from one another and encouraged each other to move forward.

It was at one of these meetings that he met his future wife. They have since married and had their own child. He grasped his second chance and held on. You have the option of doing the same. Human beings are amazing in there ability to hope and survive. Was his story tragic? Yes. But, it was also inspiring and hopeful. My we all aspire to be the same to one another.

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This article contributed by Kristi - a writer at Helium.com